This week in Iraq, a new interim constitution was signed by the US appointed governing council. However, Ayatlooah Ali al-Sistani has warned that anyone that voted against the Shia dominated theocratical party of El-I-hate-the-great-Satan-America would be mown down, decapitated and stuffed with pork for the infidel dogs that they were. As the document was being signed, guerillas attacked two police stations in Bagdhad, a council member was gunned down in Mosul, a coalition hotel was h...
This week in Iraq, a new interim constitution was signed by the US appointed governing council. However, Ayatlooah Ali al-Sistani has warned that anyone that voted against the Shia dominated theocratical party of El-I-hate-the-great-Satan-America would be mown down, decapitated and stuffed with pork for the infidel dogs that they were. As the document was being signed, guerillas attacked two police stations in Bagdhad, a council member was gunned down in Mosul, a coalition hotel was h...
This report filed by our man on the spot, Roy Rubberplunger. This week a global summit of Philosophers met in Bagdad, Tasmania, to discuss the future of their discipline. It is reported that there were many heated exchanges epsecially at the fringe meetings where the hot topic of debate was apparently whether Catherine Zeta Jones was a 'Smoky big-breasted bitch that was gagging for it'. Or not. Professor Paradigm Shift was heard to express his disillusionment at the banali...
This report filed by our man on the spot, Roy Rubberplunger. This week a global summit of Philosophers met in Bagdad, Tasmania, to discuss the future of their discipline. It is reported that there were many heated exchanges epsecially at the fringe meetings where the hot topic of debate was apparently whether Catherine Zeta Jones was a 'Smoky big-breasted bitch that was gagging for it'. Or not. Professor Paradigm Shift was heard to express his disillusionment at the banali...
Earlier this week, the American Defence Secretary, Donald Rumsfeld, repeated his assertion that prisoners being held at Guatanamo bay were, 'Hardcore, well trained terrorists' and 'Among the most dangerous, best trained, vicious killers on the face of the planet'. Three boys aged 9, 12 and 13 are currently being considered for release. It is not known whether a 92 year old bed-ridden, blind and deaf man, arrested for 'deliberately wearing a towel on his head' was also ...
Earlier this week, the American Defence Secretary, Donald Rumsfeld, repeated his assertion that prisoners being held at Guatanamo bay were, 'Hardcore, well trained terrorists' and 'Among the most dangerous, best trained, vicious killers on the face of the planet'. Three boys aged 9, 12 and 13 are currently being considered for release. It is not known whether a 92 year old bed-ridden, blind and deaf man, arrested for 'deliberately wearing a towel on his head' was also ...
The Saudi govenment is trying to cut down on the nuber of deaths on its roads caused by the nearly half a million camels that roam its deserts. There are some 600 accidents and up to 150 deaths annually, most of them occuring at night time. A campaign that saw huge triangular signs erected, warning of the potential hazard seems to have had little effect on the number of accidents. A spokesman, Ali Al-Ghamdi said that, 'The camels just don't seem to take any notice of the signs....
The Saudi govenment is trying to cut down on the nuber of deaths on its roads caused by the nearly half a million camels that roam its deserts. There are some 600 accidents and up to 150 deaths annually, most of them occuring at night time. A campaign that saw huge triangular signs erected, warning of the potential hazard seems to have had little effect on the number of accidents. A spokesman, Ali Al-Ghamdi said that, 'The camels just don't seem to take any notice of the signs....
Told by an Ethiopian Taxi Driver in Wellington, New Zealand. An Ethipoian, a Hindu and an American are travelling together on a train. A fellow passenger asked them what they thought of the nutritional value of Beef. The Ethiopian looked puzzled and asked 'What is nutritional value?' The Hindu also looked puzzled, and asked 'What is beef?' The American scratched his head in consternation and asked, 'What is an opinion?' yechydda
Told by an Ethiopian Taxi Driver in Wellington, New Zealand. An Ethipoian, a Hindu and an American are travelling together on a train. A fellow passenger asked them what they thought of the nutritional value of Beef. The Ethiopian looked puzzled and asked 'What is nutritional value?' The Hindu also looked puzzled, and asked 'What is beef?' The American scratched his head in consternation and asked, 'What is an opinion?' yechydda
A British Conservative party MP has been sacked following a racist remark concerning the recent tragedy in Morecombe Bay, where seventeen Chinese migrants were drowned in incoming tides while gathering shellfish. The Member of Parliament was reported as saying, 'I'm fed up with Indian food, let's go to Morecombe Bay for a Chinese'. The Conseravtive Leader of the Opposition is said to be sad with regard to the sacking, pointing out that it was no longer acceptable to poke fun at th...
A British Conservative party MP has been sacked following a racist remark concerning the recent tragedy in Morecombe Bay, where seventeen Chinese migrants were drowned in incoming tides while gathering shellfish. The Member of Parliament was reported as saying, 'I'm fed up with Indian food, let's go to Morecombe Bay for a Chinese'. The Conseravtive Leader of the Opposition is said to be sad with regard to the sacking, pointing out that it was no longer acceptable to poke fun at th...
Protests surrounding Mel Gibsons blood spattered epic, The Passion of Christ, has alarmed Jewish Communities fearing that they would be blamed for his crucifixion. Mel Gibson has reluctantly agreed to change the script of the Sequel so that the ultimate blame for Christ's crucifixion would be laid elsewhere. It is believed that in the sequel, 'The Passion II, The Resurrection', to be sponsored by Viagra, will emphasise that the responsibility for Christs death was entirely due to a co...
Protests surrounding Mel Gibsons blood spattered epic, The Passion of Christ, has alarmed Jewish Communities fearing that they would be blamed for his crucifixion. Mel Gibson has reluctantly agreed to change the script of the Sequel so that the ultimate blame for Christ's crucifixion would be laid elsewhere. It is believed that in the sequel, 'The Passion II, The Resurrection', to be sponsored by Viagra, will emphasise that the responsibility for Christs death was entirely due to a co...
The worst thing in the world is getting to the bra just behind a group of four women out for a drink. With four blokes it's two pints of this and two pints of that no problem. Sorted. With women, well: Barman to four women out for a drink together: 'What it'll be then girls?' Claire: 'Oh, I'll have a vodka and coke please. Oh, make that a diet coke Barman goes off, barman returns: 'Here we are then' Claire: 'Oh can I have some ice with that' He goes off. He r...